DEAR HARRIETTE: I was involved in a terrible car wreck early on the morning of New Year’s Day. Almost all of my loved ones and close friends either visited me in the hospital or sent flowers.

I was really hurt that my best friend didn’t visit me in the hospital. It was like they completely ignored what had happened, which is so unlike them.

I thought that out of all people, they would be there for me and show their support. But it seems like I was wrong, and now I’m feeling betrayed and alone.

It’s been difficult to get over this disappointment and figure out why it happened in the first place. Is there any advice you can give on how to make sense of the situation?

Car Wreck

DEAR CAR WRECK: Some people freeze in the face of tragedy and do not know how to move forward. There is a chance that this is true for your best friend. It doesn’t excuse them, but it could be an explanation.

After you are feeling better, if you still have not heard from your best friend, reach out. Ask them what they have been doing so you can learn what’s going on in their life. Tell them briefly about your accident and ask if they knew about it. Then ask why they didn’t come to see you or contact you.

Describe how frightening the experience was and how sad you where that they weren’t there to support you. Listen calmly to discover what happened.

DEAR HARRIETTE: I have noticed a pattern with my niece that I do not like. I buy Christmas presents for her every year and ship them because she and her family live out of town. I know she gets the things I send because her mother tells me, but she never reaches out to say thank you.

Obviously, I do not buy the gifts to receive her gratitude, but for her to say absolutely nothing is just unconscionable to me. This year I sent an array of items from my travels and other things that I thought she would appreciate. In return: crickets.

Should I say something or just stop sending her things? This has been going on for several years now. By the way, my niece is almost 30 years old.

Ungrateful

DEAR UNGRATEFUL: The person in question is an adult who has bad manners. You have no obligation to continue to give an adult any gifts, especially if she doesn’t acknowledge them. If you want, you can contact her and ask her if she liked her presents. If she responds, you can tell her it would have been nice for her to have told you.

You can also reach out to her directly and check in with her; see how she’s doing and what’s going on in her life. Then tell her the truth — you are disappointed that she has not chosen to acknowledge that you sent her gifts for the holidays. Tell her it is rude and hurts your feelings.

Your third option is to stop giving her gifts and say nothing. She may inquire directly or through her mother as to why. Then you have an opening. Or she may say nothing, and that tradition will have ended.

Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to askharriette@harriettecole.com or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.